She's Here!

Well, it's been almost 2 weeks since Miss Emerson Rose arrived, and she sure has changed our lives already! Around 1:45 on July 18, she was born via c-section. She checked in at 7 lb 9 oz and 19 1/2 inches long with what appears to be auburn hair. Yes, what are the chances that I could end up with another red head??? Bryson's hair was unmistakably orange when he was born; hers is dark, but it definitely has a red cast to it. I have to admit that I was filled with a lot of anxiety as I lay on the operating table that I did not expect to feel. I just was praying every second that she was going to be normal birth weight and healthy! The fact that she is absolutely beautiful (I may be a little biased, but seriously, she is.) is just a bonus!

See I told you so!


We're all adjusting to having an extra person around. The biggest challenge has been my restrictions from surgery, which include not lifting over 15 lbs. Avery is 34 lbs dead weight, and I've had a hard time sticking to the rules. But I know it's in all of our best interest. He is still a baby in many ways and wants to be held and cuddled too. Phillip has been great in taking over with him when he's home, and my mom has been in and out this week as well. Bryson loves Emerson of course, and he wants to hold her all the time. She was crying while I was in the bath the other day, and Bryson started singing to her and gave her a pacifier. He said, "Mom, I just gave her her sucky thing, and she quit crying!" Avery just stares at her and smiles like, "What in the world is that thing?"

I'm having a ball dressing her up. Phillip says it must be some form of child abuse the way I have dressed her and put hairbows on her head. It's just so much FUN! And this third time around, I think I'm enjoying the newborn stage so much more than I did before. I know that it won't be long until she'll be growing like a weed, and I'll be wishing that time would just slow down. So, I'm giving her lots of kisses and spending a little extra time rocking her. I'm not so worried about spoiling her or sleepless nights. I know that this too will pass!


But of course, as a mommy of 3 now, I'm busier. More mouths to feed, more messes to clean, more laundry to wash, more baths to give...etc. That's okay too. Even when things are really chaotic, I have to admit that I've been blessed with a beautiful family. For that I'm incredibly thankful!

~Love to all,
Bryson, Avery, AND, Emerson's mommy

The End is Near!!

Tonight is the eve of the birth of our little girl. I stayed home from church tonight to attempt to tie up a few loose ends and perhaps spend a few minutes of quiet time before things get crazy...or should I say crazier than they already are. Let me tell you, I am glad to see this pregnancy end! I have been so miserable the last couple of weeks that simply walking has been a trial. I'm not sure why; I don't think Emerson is going to be overly large or anything, but I have been sore and achy from my hips down. At the same time, I'm starting to feel the nerves kick in as I think about what lies ahead for me. The whole c-section, hospital stay, and recovery aren't things I'm looking forward to. I'm kind of a recluse when I'm not feeling well, and being in a hospital and trying to be cheery for all the folks who are excited to meet our little one will be trying. Not to mention that I start imagining germs on every person and thing in sight. No, I'm not crazy (at least not certifiable), but I do tend to worry about things when I probably should just relax.

On top of that, my mom is in Alabama with my sister, Rebecca, who just had her little girl last weekend. I'm glad Mom can be there for her since it's her first one and all, but part of me would love to be selfish and beg her to come home. But, I wont; I'll just have to share! By the way, my new niece is named Ava Julianne, and she's adorable in all the pictures I've seen. I just wish we could be together, but that will happen in time.

I doubt I'll sleep a wink tonight because I'm so excited/nervous/anxious about tomorrow. I'm just praying and hoping with all of my heart that she's healthy and everything is where it's supposed to be and working like it should. I'm also praying that I'll somehow be able to juggle three children, one with so many appointments it makes my head spin, and that I'll be able to be the mom I need to be to my three precious children. So if you think of us, whisper a prayer. We can use everyone you have to spare! I'll try to add some pictures whenever time allows. :)

And then Phillip decided to add another worry to my mind last night when he said, "What are you gonna do when she comes out a boy?" That would not be even funny at this point!

On my last night as a mother of two...I'm signing off!
Blessings to you all,
Bethany

Randomness

Well, I've done it again. I have gone too long without blogging until my mind has a hard time focusing on what to even write about. I'm blaming it on the fact that I'm in the last few weeks of my pregnancy, and I am seriously lacking in the energy department. Actually, many days I wake up with a to do list as long as my arm and feeling ready to go, but it doesn't take long until I run out of steam. This is where I am today. I took Avery out for labs today, made a stop at the store, got home and did some laundry, light housework, and attempted to pack my hospital bag. I think I'm spent for now, so I'll try again later!

Along the lines of pregnancy, I am getting bigger and slower by the day. Some women talk about the glow of pregnancy or how they felt so beautiful the bigger they got. Let's just say that I am NOT one of those people! I'm outgrowing many of my maternity clothes, and I'm not about to buy one single maternity item right now, so I'm wearing the same couple of things every day and lounging in Phillip's t shirts at night. The good news is that I'm still measuring on target, which because of my previous pregnancy has been a major concern for me. It appears everything is going well, and in less than 3 1/2 weeks, Emerson Rose will be here!! I'm starting to stress a little about what I'm going to do with two little ones in diapers, bottles, and who are immobile. I guess it will be about like having twins for a while...just one about 33 lbs, and another a newborn.

Last week, we actually went on vacation. It wasn't extravagant, just a trip to Tennessee to Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg, but we had a lot of fun. We went to the Aquarium, Rainforest Adventure Zoo, took Bryson to the rides, and Phillip and B went to a car show. I got a little bit of shopping in, and we spent a lot of time at the waterpark at the resort. It is such a cool place with something for all ages, and the boys both loved it! It will probably a very long time before we get to take a vacation again with a baby coming and Avery having a transplant.

Yesterday was our 9 year anniversary. I can hardly believe it has been 9 years since Phillip and I started our life together. In some ways, I feel like it was just yesterday, but when I start thinking about some of the things we've been through together, I'm thankful we don't have to do that time over again. I can't even express how blessed I am to have such a great husband. When we got married, I knew that he was a good one, but I didn't realize how kind, generous, long-suffering (yes, he must be being married to me), and caring he was. We've had our moments when we didn't see eye to eye, but I can honestly say that our marriage has not be difficult. Now life has been difficult, and that has caused some strain on us as individuals and as a couple. But thankfully, we have been able to unite during some of the toughest times and get through it together. I don't know what I'd do without him, especially the last few years dealing with Avery's special needs and declining health. There have been many times when I felt so overwhelmed or like I just couldn't physically or mentally cope with the worry of the future or being in a moment when Avery was so sick or enduring a procedure that I was supposed to be strong for. Phillip has stepped in and been the strong one for both of us, taken time off work to give me a break, or just shown up and offered his calmness even though I know he doesn't always feel it. I love and appreciate him more than ever!

I'm enjoying spending the summer with my boys. Bryson is so full of energy that I have a hard time keeping up with him, but he makes me laugh by saying the funniest things. Today, he came looking for me but didn't see me. I heard him say, "Mom! Mom! Did you go invisible??" And Avery is still doing his thing. He's had some really low blood counts, and last Sunday night gave me quite a scare during a transfusion. His port infiltrated and he bled all over the bed. With platelets of 5 and a hemoglobin of 4.5, he didn't have anything much to spare. We had every nurse, supervisor, and resident we could find in the room trying to determine how to deal with this. Then there was worry that his port clotted. This mama was praying with all my heart, leaning on my husband, and broke out in hives. But he seemed to bounce back in a couple days as usual. He's heading back in the morning for another transfusion. I sure wish we could slow them down a little. We're still waiting for a donor to be found for his transplant. This week we were told that of the 8 initial perfect matches they thought were in the registry, 5 have responded to the request for additional HLA typing, and they are no longer matches. So they're now looking at 7/8 matches. We're hoping they'll be able to find one that will work.

Well, it is time for me to start dinner so I should probably quit my rambling. I will try to put a little less time in between my blogs so perhaps they'll be less random and more productive!

Blessings to you all!!
Bethany

The First Monday in June

June is here already!! Time is just ticking away, and 6 weeks from today, I'll be a mommy to a little girl. I'm getting more anxious by the day to meet her!

I just got home today from a week long trip to Alabama. It was somewhat of a spontaneous trip, but I was so glad to be able to get away. My parents were planning a trip south and offered to let the boys and me ride along. I cleared it with Avery's doctors and took off! Rebecca is 35 weeks pregnant and I'm 33, so it was fun to sit around and talk about babies and the woes of pregnancy. Of course, between our swelling feet, large tummies, and intense Alabama heat, we chose to stay home and just stay cool most days. But we sure had fun. Next time we see each other we'll both have little girls.

Here's how we look right now.


Some noteworthy news that is now a little over a week old is that my little Bryson lost his first tooth...well in the conventional manner that is. He did knock one of his four teeth out when he was 9 months old. I knew then that I had my hands full with this one. But he came in the kitchen a little over a week ago and asked me what was wrong with his tooth. I stuck my finger in his mouth and was shocked to see that it was wiggling back and forth. I told him to leave it alone, that it would fall out when it was ready. Of course, he couldn't leave it alone, so within an hour it was even more loose and bleeding. With some convincing, I got him to sit still, and with a little tug, it came right out. He cried for quite a while, not sure exactly why his tooth came out. I got a little misty eyed myself. Losing a tooth just seems like a rite of passage, marking one more step of moving from toddlerhood and a little closer to adulthood. I'm pretty sure that four is a little young to be losing teeth, but I figure the root was probably damaged from the loss of the tooth next too it. Who knows, but he did get some money from the tooth fairy!



Tomorrow it's back to the old routine with two appointments for Avery. I guess I better get off here because I've got some unpacking and laundry to do!

Take care, my friends!
Bethany

Just Trying to Catch Up

May is 2/3 of the way over, and I have yet to blog once this month. I could offer some excuses, but the truth is, I've kind of been avoiding this moment. Ordinarily, I enjoy posting regularly about goings-on in our life and sharing the good and bad moments of being a mommy. But I'm also pretty transparent as I write, and I haven't really felt like baring my soul lately.

There's no way that I can fully catch up on the last several weeks during my hiatus, but I will try to hit the highlights.

~I'm getting fatter by the minute, and my c-section is now scheduled for July 18...only 8 weeks away!! Emerson is growing and quite active, and her room is in the final stages of completion. Phillip is wondering what else I could possibly squeeze in her room. My sister had me a baby shower last night, and I got so many cute things! I thought I had a lot of stuff with my boys, but I'm pretty sure I've got even more for this little girl!
~Bryson finished his last day of preschool last week. I was so proud of him as he stood next to his teacher to receive his certificate! He looked so shy and serious. His teacher said that Bryson has excellent manners and is always so polite. I was thrilled with the good report and with his academic progress. As we walked outside following the festivities, there was an ice cream trolley waiting out front selling ice cream to all of the children. There's not many things that Bryson loves more than the ice cream trolley! Then I suddenly realized that I had no cash on me, and I had to tell him he couldn't get ice cream on his last day of preschool. Talk about feeling like a bad mom!! We walked past all of his friends in line or enjoying their treat, and I ended up taking him through Wendy's for a frosty. It wasn't exactly the same, but I tried to make up for it!

He's now officially registered for Kindergarten or Young Five's starting in August. He won't be 5 until August 16th, so we had been trying to decide whether or not to start him in Kindergarten. Now with plans of a bone marrow transplant for Avery which is going to put some serious stress on our family and have me in Cincinnati for months at a time with him, we decided we should probably put it off. So, we're planning to start him in the Young Five's program unless something changes between now and then. I can't believe he's even old enough to go to school!

~Avery has been truckin' along, smiling and clapping despite the many transfusions. He isn't making many red cells or platelets these days, so we're spending a lot of time in the infusion room. The study that he joined at Johns Hopkins has brought to light some new information that may point to the reason for his bone marrow failure. It's kind of complex, but essentially, Avery's end caps (telomeres) on his cells are too short. A normal person is born with longer telomeres that shorten over time through thousands and millions of cell divisions, which cause the telomeres to slowly break off shorter and shorter, leaving the cells exposed to potential damage and mutation. These damaged/mutated cells are what brings about the aging process: graying hair, loss of muscle tone, arthritis, and of course things like cancer, tumors, and organ failure. Because the blood cells divide more rapidly than other cells in the body, one of Avery's first characteristics of these shortened telomeres is bone marrow failure. A successful bone marrow transplant will fix his cells in his bone marrow; however, the cells in the rest of his body also have shortened telomeres. So, according to the doctor who is overseeing this study, we can expect signs of premature aging to affect Avery within the next decade. Some of these effects are pretty severe and life threatening.

This news has brought a dark cloud to my world lately. I try not to worry about the future too much, but sometimes I just can't help it. I have to admit that my faith has wavered some, but I'm trying to stay strong as I process this information and try to give it to God. As my husband said when he heard the news, "We know the man who made the telomeres."

Beyond this development, we've also been moving along in the bone marrow transplant process. The search coordinator told me a few days ago that there are 8 potential matches in the National Registry that they're going to screen more closely. Hopefully, we'll know within the next month whether any of these donors could be used for a transplant.

~Phillip is working his last week of second shift, thank God. I'm so looking forward to him being on days. We can actually have dinner in the evenings together and do normal, family stuff! He's also been working on some house projects that have been long in coming. We're in the process of getting new siding, and then after that, we can finish our landscaping, get a new deck, pour a new driveway...whew! Makes me tired just thinking about it, and I'm not even the one doing all the work! I am glad I've got such a handy husband.

Despite the concern for the future, I am so looking forward to having some good days with my family this summer. We're hoping to take a short vacation to Tennessee in a couple of weeks if Avery and Emerson cooperate. We'll just take the rest a day at a time, which has become my mantra lately.

As always, we sure appreciate the prayers that so many of you all offer on our family's behalf.
~Bethany

Showers, Showers, and Showers of Blessings

If it is true that April showers bring May flowers, then we are going to have the most flowery May ever! Seriously, I don't remember ever experiencing so many rainy days in my life. It's been to the point that when the sun pops out and the rain stops for just a few minutes, Bryson hollers, "The sun's out, Mom!" and I get a little excited myself.

We've just been trying to truck along through these rainy days and make the most of them. It certainly has been eventful. Avery has continued to get red cells and platelets, since he's not making many on his own. We're meeting with the transplant doc from Cincy on May 11, and we're hoping to get some sort of plan for his treatment. The response to people wanting to register for the Bone Marrow Registry has been huge, and we are so thankful for that!

Bryson, my usually very healthy, active child, has had quite a rough time lately. This is the first morning in the last 13 days that he has woken up without a fever, thank God! It started as a cough and low grade fever that would come and go, and of course, I didn't get too stressed. I just tried to keep him away from Avery by letting him sleep in our room for a few nights. But, after about 5 days of fever, I took him to our pediatrician. She wasn't terribly concerned either since his ears, throat, and everything else looked good. She said it must be viral and would pass. A few days later with even higher fevers and more coughing, and we headed back for a chest xray, which showed many spots in his lungs. She said it was either Pertussis (whooping cough) or walking pneumonia. He's been on antibiotics for three days now, and I think he's finally on the mend!

Phillip's pappaw passed away Sunday evening, and we had his funeral yesterday. He has always been such a spunky guy, even at 83, that it seems odd that he went so quickly. He will be missed dearly!

So that's the bad stuff that has been going on lately. But, as usual, it hasn't been all bad. Actually, despite the physical rain, we have received some "showers of blessings" as well. One blessing came in the strange form of diapers. I know that sounds weird, but a person who I wouldn't have considered a friend, more of an acquaintance, blessed us by buying us four large boxes of diapers. I'm not talking about the little boxes you get at the store; these are the boxes with multiple packs inside. Two were Avery's size, and two were smaller for our baby. She said she wanted to do something nice for us because we have done some counseling with a couple of her family members recently. We truly appreciated it! It may sound strange for me to list this as a blessing, but it certainly was a huge blessing to us!

Another fantastic blessing is that we got our largest tax refund we've ever gotten before. We kind of procrastinated on having our taxes done because we were pretty sure we would have to pay or maybe break even. Boy, were we surprised!

Phillip is now on day shift on his weekends that he works, which is just one more step closer to getting on full day shift. He has been told that sometime early May he may be saying good-bye to second shift, and I know neither of us will miss it!

Something else I am so thankful for this month is that Avery was invited to join a research study at Johns Hopkins hospital. Joining only meant that we had to send two tubes of blood out there, but in exchange, they're doing some of the tests for free that we have been waiting on our insurance to approve for more than a month. We're hoping to have results back in a couple of weeks, and the outcome should give us some really helpful information about the cause of Avery's bone marrow failure and how best to modify his transplant medication regimen.

Oh, and I don't want to forget to mention that my sister, Rebecca, got to make a trip into town. I haven't seen her since Thanksgiving! We have wanted to go to Alabama ourselves for a visit, but we just can't make that big of trip right now with Avery's health. It was so nice to see her, catch up a little bit, and of course, compare bellies. I think I'm about to win that contest! Oh well, at number three, I think I'm entitled to be a little fatter. :)

You know, bad things are always happening. There's always loss, sickness, frustrations, stress, and lots of negative things to focus on. But amidst these painful times and this dismal weather, there are also many blessings I don't want to fail to overlook!

I praise God for his blessings and for his strength to take us through the rough times in our lives.

Hoping for an end to our monsoon season...
Bethany

*Snapshots*

Here are a few snapshots of the last couple of weeks at the Hoskins' house. No, they're not edited or posed. But sometimes I like to just capture the moments rather than take "pretty" pictures.

The boys are finally able to enjoy the warm weather out on their swing set! Bryson has recently learned to swing himself a little, although he still prefers to be pushed. Avery starts to giggle as soon as the breeze hits his face. It's so cute!


This is how I found Avery sleeping. I don't know how he does this without hurting his back.


The boys cuddling in their pajamas. Avery is more interested in my phone than anything else.

All dressed for church. I thought I should throw in one picture of them actually dressed, since I take a lot of pictures of them half dressed or in their pj's.


Avery looking out the window. He loves to watch what is going on outside.