It's halfway through December, and I have yet to post once. I won't bore you with all the gory details, but if you read my previous post, then you know we were battling sickness around here. Well, Avery and Em did slowly improve, and just when I was pretty sure we were out of the woods, Bryson started with fever and flu-like symptoms. As he was getting his strength back, Em's fever came back, so I took her to our pediatrician, who put her on antibiotics since she's been sick so long. At the same time, Avery was in Lexington at the University of Kentucky Hospital with his daddy having a second glaucoma surgery. They returned home, and the very next day, I came down with a fever. That was four days ago, and I've had fever, headache, body aches, fatigue, and a throat that feels like it's on fire. Yesterday, my doctor gave me an antibiotic shot and a prescription, and today, I'm feeling slightly more human. Dare I even hope to think that we're getting over this awful sickness around here? And yet, I can't help but be thankful that even in our sicknesses, God has been merciful. It has been spaced out so that at least when I was sick, my little ones weren't and it just happened to be my husband's weekend off work and the day after I taught my last class for the term.
In between caring for sick children, I've managed to sneak out twice for some Christmas shopping. I have done much of it online since it is much less hassle. When I came home from my shopping, I told Phillip that I was kind of disappointed and frustrated with how CRAZY everyone and every place is this time of year. Isn't this season supposed to be about peace, joy, and love? Seriously, the aisles at Toys R Us looked like they'd been ransacked, and I somehow kept ending up in the same area as an older couple shopping apparently for their grandchildren. Their cart was heaped and nearly overflowing, and they bickered the entire time. Each time I'd see them, they were arguing about what to get, what to put back, how many to buy...
And then all of a sudden, all of my petty concerns about my holiday plans were shaken when those 26 people were so senselessly killed a few days ago. I have cried and cried just thinking about those precious children and their families. As a human being, as a mother of a kindergartener, as a former public school teacher who practiced all the lockdown drills in case of the unthinkable, it has affected me on so many levels as it has people everywhere. I can't help but think that this particular time of year has to make it even so much more difficult for the families. I'm sure there were presents wrapped under trees with the names of these babies on them.
I've spent a lot of time in children's hospitals over the last several years. I've watched as teams of doctors and other health care professionals have gone to extreme measures to save lives of children or at least improve the quality of life they experience for them and their families. So much time, money, effort, and scientific research is dedicated to saving the life of just one child, and then to see 20 perfectly healthy children with bright futures have their lives ended so violently and senselessly seems to be just too hard to comprehend.
I laid in bed last night and thought about how dark our world seems right now. But then I started thinking about when Jesus was born. When He came, the world was plagued with violence and fear too. After all, didn't King Herod order the death of innocent little babies in order to protect his throne? Jesus was born into this sinful, fallen world to offer us hope and peace despite all of the hopelessness and fear we're surrounded by. My heart will continue to be heavy for those families who are suffering right now. I don't even pretend to have answers to all of the questions surrounding these events, but I do know that the only peace I have experienced has come through Jesus.
Praying for peace and comfort this season,
Bethany
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