Mercy Found Me

You know, I was just a little girl when I first prayed for salvation.  Most folks might think that because of that, I don't know much about hurt, pain, sin, desperation, and running from God.  Thank God, I was spared MANY scars that some folks have to endure because I gave my heart to God as a 4 year old.  But I have to admit, I wandered, I ran, and I doubted many times that I was lovable and God really wanted me.  Other times, I'm sure I have tested God's grace and mercy to the limits.  I've mentioned it before on my blog, that I'm thankful that God's mercies are made new everyday because I sure need it daily!

 

 I just want to share the lyrics to one of my new favorite songs.  Not only is the music great but the lyrics are powerful.  

 

"When Mercy Found Me"  (Rhett Walker Band)

 

I can't count the broken roads I've been down, but all I know;
Something had to give; something had to give.
Cause living my life so wild and free
Finally caught up
Oh it left me broken; left me hopeless,
But that's where I met Jesus.


In one moment everything changed
Who I was got washed away
When mercy found me
My Savior's arms were open wide
And I felt love for the very first time
When mercy found me
When mercy found me

All those days, all those doubts
They don't seem to matter now.
His Grace is all I need
His Grace is all I need
And the chains that I was in before
They don't hold me anymore
His love has rescued me.
His love has set me free.

My mind found peace
My soul found hope
My heart found a home.

 

~Bethany

Bryson's Birthday Fun

The last week and a half have been busy as our summer comes to a close.  Although there are several more weeks left of the season, Bryson is starting Kindergarten in just a few days, so we'll be tied down more than we ever have.  With that in mind, we went to Indiana last week, since it was Phillip's weekend off and Bryson's 6th birthday.  We felt the need to have one last "hoorah!" before school starts.

We asked Bryson what he would like to do for his 6th birthday.  His response:  "Mr. Gatti's!"

Mr. Gatti's is basically Indiana's version of Chuck-E-Cheese's, except they have a pizza buffet.  So my mom stayed home with Avery, and we took Bryson and Grace off to eat endless pizza and play games.  Of course, we adults joined in the fun as well.  I have to say, I'm not so bad at Skee Ball! :-)

I also took Bryson to the store and let him pick out a toy.  I told him to take his time going down the aisles and deciding, but I should have known.  He was drawn to the trains like a magnet.  Of the many things I will always remember about Bryson's childhood, his obsession with trains will be one for sure!  He picked out a Percy electric train and a drawbridge set claiming loudly, "It's my dream come true!"  Bryson does have a dramatic flair, so he clutched that toy box through the store and shared with anyone who would listen that it was his birthday and he had a new train.  The check-out clerk wasn't that impressed and said to Bryson when told that he was now 6, "Then why aren't you in school?"  Bryson looked a little caught off guard, so I explained that we lived in Ohio and school hadn't started there yet.  He let us off the hook but still didn't smile at the birthday boy.

I have to admit, there was a time when I thought Bryson was going to get the best of me or I was going to have a nervous breakdown trying to control him.  He was so active (to say it nicely) and had such a mind of his own.  He still is both of those things, but he follows directions a LITTLE better and has matured some.  Phillip and I often look at each other and say, "Is he normal?  Are there other kids out there that do this kind of thing?" ...like the incessant sound effects and mood music with his toys, the obsession with Bible stories to the point where we have to tell him, no, you can't take your Veggie Tales Bible in Walmart with you because you'll just put it down somewhere, his complete lack of modesty (it's not uncommon for me to catch him outside in his underware and mud boots if his clothing gets wet or dirty while he's playing), his WILD imagination where he says regularly, "Do you want to listen to my story?"  or "Congratulations, Mommy, you've won a video clip!" and then he proceeds to tell me a story like one of his games would.  Yes, this kid is unusual for sure.  Yesterday while I was cooking dinner he said, "Do you want to have church, Mom?"  I said, "Not right now, Bryson."  He replied, "But Mommy, we're always supposed to have church, and he grabbed a bar stool for a podium and a whisk for a microphone and started preaching.  We spend many evenings having church in the living room and our bedtime prayers turn into church in his room.  Phillip preached at a church about a year ago that not only audio records sermons, but also video records them on DVD.  So Phillip came home with the CD and DVD of his sermon.  Bryson puts that DVD on the monitor in his room and watches his daddy preach for hours.

(If you think I"m joking about the sound effects and music as he move his trains or whatever toy he has at the time through the air, I"m NOT!  About a year ago, we were in a store, and Phillip was a couple aisles over from Bryson and me.  I've really just gotten so used to Bryson's sounds that I tune them out.  He was doing his thing walking along side me, and Phillip said the guy next to him said, "Man, listen to the kid!"  Phillip just nodded and said, "Yeah."  Then the guy said, "That's so annoying!"  Phillip agreed, "Yes, it is."  Then the guy said, "Aren't you glad he's not your kid?"  Phillip replied, "He IS my kid."  The guy about died of embarrassment, but I'm sure he's not the only one who has ever thought that!)

Here's Bryson at 2.  Where, oh where, does the time go??

What a crazy, unique, challenging, and wonderful little boy I have!  God must have BIG plans for him!   And what an enormous responsibility for us as his parents to try to guide him and instill in him godly principles and values.

Here he is at 6.   So big!

This week was Indoor Campmeeting at Dryden Road.  I only attended a couple of services since one of us needed to stay home with Avery, and I felt guilty making Phillip stay home since one of his favorite preachers ever was preaching.  But Bryson attended pretty much every service.  Of course, his favorite part was eating in the fellowship hall, and now all of his recent sermons have announcements of food in the fellowship hall after church,  but I hope one day he learns to love the moving of the Spirit as much as he looks forward to the fellowship hall!

Well, that's all for now, folks.  Lots to do!
Bethany

When Daddy's in Charge...

Having 3 kids is sometimes a challenge.  There's always someone needing something, a mess to be cleaned, a diaper needing changed...you get the idea.  And sometimes, when you have a little one who is mobile and gets into everything, it's easy to lose sight of her temporarily during the chaos.  Especially when you're Daddy! :-)

If any of you have read my blog before, then you should know that I am blessed with a great husband who is an amazing dad to our kids.  But he self-admittedly isn't able to accomplish anything else while watching our children.  I can usually do a few loads of laundry, wash dishes, clean bedrooms, cook dinner, etc. while keeping an eye on our offspring.

So after working in our yard for a little while, we came in to get cleaned up.  I managed to feed and change the littles, and at one point, all three kids were playing on the rug in our living room.  Phillip was sitting on the couch, so I thought it might be a good opportunity for me to take a quick shower.   With a promise that I'd make it quick, I headed upstairs to our bathroom.  About 3 minutes into my shower, the curtain was pulled back quickly, and there was my little Em standing in front of the tub, grinning like, "Aha!  I found you!"  She put the curtain back and disappeared, so I picked up the pace on my shower, realizing that she had crawled up the stairs and was now in my bedroom/bathroom alone.

When I got out of the shower, she heard me and came back around the curtain toward me, chomping away at something that was leaking out the sides of her mouth and with something squeezed tightly in her fist.  I said, "Em, show me your mouth!"  She opened up wide to show me a half-chewed Tums antacid that she was consuming like it was a tasty snack.  My heart slowed down a bit when I realized that Tums shouldn't harm her, but I still reached in a grabbed what was left, much to Emerson's dismay.  I also pried her fingers open to take the other one she was saving for later from her hand.  She had a few scattered on my room floor as well.

As I was cleaning up that mess, I noticed a clump of wet tissue paper in the floor and wet foot prints around it.  Suspiciously, I picked up the paper and followed the footsteps.  They trailed off, but I soon discovered where they led.  You got it - the toilet.  Ugh.  For whatever reason, my little princess is fascinated by the toilet.  I saw that the toilet lid was up, the trashcan lid was pulled off, and there were random things pulled from the trash sitting in the bottom of the toilet.  Disgusting!  I shouted down to Phillip that he needed to come clean out the toilet.  He said, obliviously, "Why?"  I asked, "Do you know where your daughter is?"  He got the point, and came upstairs where I was scouring Em's hands with soap and warm water, and he cleaned up the mess.  The funny thing (if you want to call it that) is that he didn't even notice Emerson was on the lam until I brought it to his attention.  I guess he forgot to count noses!

With a tiny bit of sarcasm, I said, "Wow, honey.  Imagine what she could have done if I would have left her unsupervised!"

I'm glad nothing more dangerous or destructive occurred.  I actually laughed after all was said and done.  But, I'm sure glad I'm NOT a single parent, and I think I'll give a little more specific instructions next time I decide to take a shower in the middle of the day!

:-)

Avery's Eye Surgery

Wednesday, August 8th, Avery had his surgery on his eyes at Cincinnati Children's Hospital.  As I mentioned before, the doctor wasn't for sure what the exact problem was or how to fix it until he could get him under anesthesia and look a little closer.  After about 30 minutes in the OR, Dr. Sisk came out to give us an update.  He said that Avery's left eye had lost peripheral blood flow, and in order to compensate, had tried to grow some new blood vessels in the center of his eye and some scar tissue had formed.  He was pretty confident he could fix it with lasers.  The right eye was more complex.  Avery had a central retinal detachment where the pressure of the blood vessels were literally pulling it away from the rest of his eye causing his pupil to be misshapened and also the formation of scar tissue.  Dr. Sisk also said that several adhesions had formed.  He said that the procedure to fix this eye was surgical involving several cuts to the eye and a tedious 2 hour surgery that would be like removing hard card board from wet tissue paper without tearing the tissue paper.  He said that if the retina tore, it would create other problems.

This wasn't great news, but it was pretty much what we expected.  So, we signed the surgery consent and headed to waiting room.  I don't think anyone ever gets used to sending his or her child off to surgery, regardless of how many times it occurs, and this time was no different.  I actually was more nervous than usual because it was clear there were so many risks involved in such a meticulous surgery.

After a few hours, we met with the doctor in the consultation room, and he said that the surgery couldn't have gone any better.  He was able to break the adhesions and separate the retina from the scar tissue without tearing it.  He also applied lasers to both eyes to reduce the pressure and improve circulation.  He said that it will take a month or two for the retina to start to flatten out on its own, and we won't know the extent of the impact to his vision for awhile either.  It's likely though that Avery hasn't had peripheral vision in his left eye or central vision in his right eye for quite some time.

Avery has to have another exam under anesthesia in a week and a half with possible touch up surgery to fix any issues that weren't fully addressed the first time around.  Dr. Sisk also said that Avery's eyes will most likely require cataract surgery in the future, and it's possible that what happened to his eyes in the first place may try to happen again since it is all caused from his genetic defect.  But now that we know what is going on and have a doctor that is going to be monitoring it, hopefully, we can protect his eyes as much as possible.

We are so thankful that surgery went well, and we know that many of our friends have been praying for him.  We sincerely appreciate it!  It seems like Avery just moves from one issue to another, and if the Lord doesn't heal him, he will continue to do so since Dyskeratosis Congenita is a progressive disorder.  But with each new diagnosis, we're believing that God is right there with us.

As Avery was waking up from the anesthesia, I was rocking him, and Phillip went out so that my parents could take turns coming in to see him.  Dad sat down beside me and shook his head because Avery looked so pitiful with his little eye patch on and big dressing on his chest from his port access.  I have to admit, sometimes I struggle a bit not to focus on the how unfair life can be.  Watching my little boy suffer and lose so much almost overwhelms me sometimes.  He can't walk, talk, express himself, or even eat anymore.  The possibility of him losing his vision just seems beyond cruel.  Then dad said something that helped put what sometimes seems like such an unfair situation in a little more perspective.  He said, "God could have taken Avery when he was born or you could have even miscarried, but the world needed Avery.  We needed Avery.  That's why God let us keep him."  Most of the time, words fall short.  It's difficult to hear things like, "God knew you were special people so He gave you a special child, " or "You'll love Avery however he is."  Although said with the best intentions, those kinds of things seem to belittle the grief and conflicting emotions a desperate parent feels; and yes, we're blessed with an amazing, special child, and of course, we couldn't stop loving him anymore than we could stop breathing.  (I certainly don't mean that to sound bad toward anyone!  I try to always understand where folks are coming from, and I'm really not overly-sensitive.  Sometimes it's just a struggle.  Hope you understand!)  But Dad has been there through some of Avery's darkest moments and knows about he has many days when he can't smile or clap, and he's listened to me cry to him or my mom when we are dealing with some terrible reality of his ugly disease.  I know I need my little guy and his snuggles an awful lot, and he has taught us - sometimes painfully - so much.

Here's a couple pictures of my little pirate!

Thanks again for the unceasing prayers and concern.
Love from the Hoskins family,
Bethany