"My Little Orange-Haired Boy"

I have to say, I think I've got one one of the most challenging three-year-olds in the world. It just may have something to do with the color of his hair! However, I think he's also incredibly smart and imaginative. All of these traits working together make for an interesting (for lack of better words) day! Some days I want to just cry because I feel like I'm failing somehow miserably as a mom, and other days I beam with pride at his accomplishments. Today, he's been both a challenge and delight as usual!

He and Phillip got haircuts today, and he got a balloon from the barber. Phillip and I were in a different room, when I heard Bryson sobbing. It was an I'm-in-pain kind of cry, and I immediately ran down the hallway expecting to see blood or at least a bruise. The skin around Bryson's eyes was all red and spotted like it gets when he sheds real tears, not the crocodile ones he's learned to turn off and on. He was having a hard time catching his breath to even tell me what was wrong. Finally, I made out that his balloon was gone! When I saw the back sliding glass door was opened, I figured out pretty quickly just where it had gone. My heart started to beat normally as I realized the situation wasn't that serious, but Bryson wasn't slowing down on the tears. He stepped outside and stared up in the sky, and his wails grew louder. Phillip and I tried to calm him down by promising we'd find him another one soon, and reiterating the fact that that's why he shouldn't take his balloons outside. He eventually settled down.

Tonight after I put him to bed, he started yelling for me. I went to his room to see what the problem was expecting him to tell me he was scared or thirsty. Instead, he said, "Mommy, I'm upset." I had to smile since this is the first time he's ever said that. I of course asked him why. He said, "Because my balloon blew away." I reminded him again that we'd find him another one, which he then said should be pink instead of green. (Much to his father's dismay, pink is his favorite color!) I was surprised that the balloon was still on his mind, but I guess to him, it really was a major disappointment. I can't help but think that as he grows, he's going to encounter so many more disappointments that will be more difficult to deal with than losing a balloon. His childish innocence and freedom from the realities of life won't last forever, and that makes me sad!

Bryson also asked me to come play outside with him this evening. To be honest, I didn't want to. But he said, "Mommy, I want you play with me because you're my best friend in the best whole world." Now how could I resist that???

As we were getting ready for bed tonight, he brought me his new Children's Bible, which has become his favorite book. He asked me to read a bedtime story, which was of course, Jonah and the Whale. I said, let's go read it in your bed. He smiled and said, "What a great idea, Mommy!" Then he looked through his Bible at the pictures, and every story that showed animals, he would have the animals swallow up the character like the whale (big fish) did to Jonah. When he got to the story of Baby Jesus, he saw the farm animals in the stable and said, "Then they threw him to the very hungry pig." It's not exactly what I'd like him to learn, but I couldn't help but giggle.

I especially love it when he says, "Mommy, I'm you're little orange haired boy." Like I said, as much of a challenge as he is, Bryson makes me smile. I try to remind myself often to enjoy these times, because before I know it, he'll be all grown up.

On that note, I'm going to try to get some sleep. Good night!

And the Countdown is On!

It's Sunday morning, and ordinarily I would be in church right now. However, since Avery's most recent hospitalization, I thought it wise to keep him home. He is acting pretty much like his normal cheerful self, but the last thing he needs right now is to pick up a germ. So, we're enjoying a little peace and quiet.

Right now the biggest thing on my mind is our upcoming move. As I said before, we sold our house - in two weeks time - for pretty much full price, and in this economy, that's quite an accomplishment! Although we never dreamed we'd sell as quickly as we did, we knew God had to have been responsible. So, I've not really stressed too much over the situation. If you know me at all, that too is quite an accomplishment! Even when it looked like the right house just wasn't going to happen, I've been fairly calm and peaceful about the whole thing.

While we were at the hospital with Avery, Phillip was on the phone negotiating with the realtors about a house we made an offer on weeks ago and didn't seem to be working out. They finally reached a deal, which means I don't have to worry about being homeless this summer! Although, as is our style, the "new" house is actually very smelly and in need of complete remodeling. It will not be livable by the time we have to be out of our current house, so we're going to have to live elsewhere temporarily. Again, this should be sending me into panic mode, but I'm okay! I think we've been faced with so many major, stress-inducing problems over the last 2 years, that this inconvenience doesn't seem so major.

Of course, after moving into an efficiency apartment (or wherever we're going to end up) and living out of a suitcase for a while, I may start to lose my calmness.

So now my house is starting to look empty as I slowly box up things we're not using and take pictures off the wall. I'm also thinking about paint colors, kitchen cabinets, and decorating ideas. I'm counting down the days until the chaos will truly begin, and Phillip can start working his magic on our new house. Of course, I love to help, but for some reason, Phillip doesn't seem to find me as helpful as I think I am :-).

The countdown is on, and I'm enjoying our last few weeks in our house! Well folks, that pretty much sums up what's on my mind right now. Have a blessed Sunday!

Here's a picture of my men working on the lawn mower deck. Bryson LOVES to work, and Avery LOVES to watch them!

Another Day in the Life of Avery

We're sitting here in the hospital room waiting for the doctor to officially discharge Avery. I'm absolutely exhausted! I'm pretty sure it's cruel and unusual punishment to force parents to sleep on these little pull-out chairs they call beds - as if we don't have enough stress in our lives; let's add sleep depravation. If I were rich, I think I would provide the funds to put a comfortable recliner, bed, futon, or even cot in each of these rooms here. I guess I'm sounding pretty gripy, and I don't mean to. I have a lot to be thankful for.

Yesterday Avery gave us yet another scare. Phillip and I were out house-hunting, and my mom and sister were watching Avery, who was still sleeping. Mom called me to say that he was still asleep, and I told her to go check on him. I always get a little worried when he does anything too out of the ordinary. She went ahead and got him up, but he wouldn't take his bottle. A few minutes later, Phillip, Bryson, and I pulled up in front of the house to find my mom holding Avery on my front steps saying, "Hurry! He's having a seizure and isn't breathing!" This mommy's heart fell to her toes, and Phillip told me to go get the Dyastat, which is the emergency seizure medicine that we have for just such a situatino. As Phillip put the truck in park, I jumped out of the passengers seat, kicked my wedge heeled sandals in the grass, pulled up my skirt and ran to my bedroom for the medicine. Meanwhile, my sister had called 9-1-1. Phillip gave Avery the Dyastat, and he still wasn't responding, but at least he wasn't as blue as he was. To make a long story short, we were brought by ambulance to the ER, and Avery wasn't responsive at all until about 2 minutes prior to arrival. He had a 103.3 fever, and since he has a complicated medical history, we were seen pretty quickly.

As Phillip and I sat in the ER waiting to be taken up to a room, I looked at him and said, "Is this going to be our life forever?" It's getting to be a de-ja-vu-like experience, and it's pretty bad when you are recognized by nurses, receptionists, residents, and doctors in the cafeteria.

Watching the nurses try for the 9th time last night to get an IV started on Avery just broke my heart. His IV they got in the ER had blown, and after IV therapy blew 3 more veins, they gave up for the night. Watching him cry as they hold him down and dig in his veins makes me feel so helpless and guilty. I wonder what is going through his mind, and part of me is thankful that Avery is oblivious to many of the things he endures!

Today Avery has been much better. His EEG was clear as his 2 previous ones have been. The neurologists said his seizures are "atypical" since he doesn't convulse. We weren't surprised to hear that since "atypical" pretty much describes Avery perfectly. Whatever caused the fever seems to have come and gone, and I'm incredibly thankful that Avery is doing so much better.

I can't wait to get home, close the door, and spend the evening with both of my babies. I miss Bryson so bad and feel so guilty for having to leave him too! He's too little to understand what's going on; he just knows Avery is always sick and sees a lot of doctors. I'm looking forward to sleeping in a real bed and hopefully having a boring Saturday tomorrow! We've had more than our share of excitement.

Before I end this blog and hopefully get out of this hospital, I have to say that I am SO blessed to have such an amazing husband. I knew he was a good man when I married him, but I appreciate him so much more since we've been through some tough times. He acts quickly in a crisis, and he's so strong for us. He's been beyond supportive and helpful, and I really don't think I could go through all of this without him.

Chuck E Cheese, the Ice Cream Truck - You Get the Picture?

Chuck E Cheese's - need I say more? My husband actually beat me up this morning, which is rare. When I got up about an hour after him, he had Chuck E Cheese coupons in his hands. He wanted to take Bryson, since Bryson suggests quite often that we should go. So, we made his day! I'm not sure who enjoyed himself more, Bryson or Phillip. They played almost every game in the building. I've got to admit that I played a couple rounds of ski ball and Deal or No Deal. Something about that place just brings out the kid in you!

The last few days have been pretty relaxing - the calm before the storm, I guess. Phillip, Avery, and I even went to Red Lobster for lunch while Bryson was in preschool this week. Eating anywhere that doesn't have a drive-thru or sell happy meals is a rare thing for us! We close on our house in a couple of weeks and are waiting to hear about an offer we made on another. As soon as we know we have a place to live, the craziness will begin.

Speaking of crazy, yesterday I borrowed Bryson's little keyboard to find a key for a song I'm supposed to sing at a wedding. Avery was in his high chair, and I was sitting at the table. Bryson heard me playing his piano, and he, fresh from the tub, jumps on top of the table with one of Phillip's screwdrivers as a microphone. He started doing back up for me. There we were, me trying to play this tiny piano and singing a love song, Bryson naked singing made up repeats, and Avery clapping and laughing. It was a hilarious sight and probably would've won us first prize at America's Funniest Home Videos.

By the way, I'm developing a love-hate relationship with the ice cream truck. Bryson LOVES the ice cream truck. The funny thing is that there are actually two that frequent our neighborhood, but he only likes one of them. He will sit on the front steps waiting for hours if we let him, and it doesn't matter what he's doing when he hears the faint sounds of the music, he starts asking for money and running for the door. Unfortunately, the truck often comes during naptime, and Bryson seems to have these super sensitive ears that hear the music even in his sleep. Needless to say, he's had a hard time with naps lately. And I might as well just say it: my husband is a pushover! He has a hard time denying his boys. The other day, Bryson actually slept through the sound of the truck, but Phillip got up, put his shoes on, and walked down the street to get his boy an ice cream for when he did wake up. As much as I caution Phillip about spoiling Bryson, his thoughtfulness toward his family is one of the many things I love about him.

As you can tell, our life pretty much revolves around our kids, and I wouldn't have it any other way! Sure, I miss some parts of my "pre-kids" life, but I wouldn't trade my life now for anything. We're just enjoying our life, taking it one day at a time, and I have a feeling that Chuck E Cheese's and the ice cream truck are going to be part of it for a long while. I might as well just get used to it!

Party Time!

Tonight my feet are aching and I'm too tired to finish cleaning up the messes leftover from Avery's birthday party. There was a great turn out, and he got lots of gifts. The kids played outside most of the evening with only a few small altercations that just might have involved a certain red-head who didn't get a nap. All they little ones earned gold medals playing pin the tail on the donkey and ate more sugar than is healthy. But what is important is that Avery's party was a hit!






I'm so thankful for the two years Avery has been in our lives. Undoubtedly, they have been the most difficult years Phillip and I have ever lived through, but Avery has brought such joy! During my pregnancy, we weren't even sure he would survive birth. Then on April 14, 2008, our little 2 lb 8 oz bundle entered the world, and we had no idea what a fighter he would be. Through every difficult episode and disappointing diagnosis, Avery has fought to survive in his own quiet way. He has done so with a smile on his face most of the time. Phillip and I have learned so much about life, perspective, and about trusting God through our little miracle-in-progress, Avery.



It's getting late, and I've got to get my boys in bed. I'm sure we'll all sleep well tonight!

This n' That

Well, I survived my birthday, and I don't feel any older than I did before. Most days I feel more like 50, so I guess age is just a meaningless number anyway :)!

Today was Phillip's second double shift in a row, so I've spent the day with my other two favorite guys. I guess you could call me a weekend widow. Since it has been such a beautiful day, we've spent a lot of time outdoors. I sat on the deck and watched Bryson play in the back yard for a while. He wanted to walk to the park, so I told him we'd go later after his and Avery's naps. Wouldn't you know, the first words out of his mouth when he woke up from his nap was, "Mommy, I'm ready for that walk now." Hmmm...he can't seem to remember when I tell him to pick up his toys, but he sure remembers what he wants to!

Bryson says some of the most interesting and funny things. I love the way his mind works, and he keeps me laughing. Of course, his mouth is also starting to get him in trouble. It's amazing how he doesn't always get the words right, but his tone lets me know what he means, so I'm trying to nip that in the bud! Today he told me I was the best mom he had ever seen. He also told me I was "purty." He sure is good for my self-esteem. I always think that I need to write it down so I'll be sure and remember it when he says something quirky, but I usually get distracted and forget to do it! Last night, Bryson said, "I'm not scared in my bed anymore." Phillip and I were like,"Really? That's good." He said, "Yes because God helped me not to be scared and God has all the power."

The last couple of days I've been making plans for Avery's second birthday party. I really can't believe he's two already! I'm having a western themed party, since he's not really into anything special and I found some cute western decorations. Hoping for nice weather, since the kids will have a better time if they can play outside. I'll update with details later.

I've been typing in between feeding Avery spoonfuls of mac n cheese, and he's growing impatient with me. So I better get off here.

Hello, 29!

Tonight on the eve of my 29th birthday, I'm feeling a little sentimental. The boys are asleep, Phillip got called into work for a couple of hours, and I'm sitting here in a quiet house watching the last few minutes of my 28th year pass.

It's funny how the older I get, the less important my birthdays are to me; in fact, I wouldn't mind forgetting them altogether! Turning 16, 18, 20, and 25 seemed like milestones, but tonight I'm feeling just plain old! 29...that sounds just way too close to the big 3-0. Somehow, I guess I thought everyone else around me would age while I stayed young. With Phillip being 4 1/2 years older than me, I've given him a hard time over the years about being old. And here I am, replaying the same birthdays I teased him about.

If I could somehow freeze time, I think I would. In my 28 years, I've not accomplished a lot by some standards, but I've got a pretty great life. I've done the college thing, had a fulfilling career, and have now moved on to the family phase, and I LOVE it. Not to mention that I have an amazing husband who has been with me the last ten years through thick and thin. Yep, even though my life's not without challenges, if I could, I'd make time stand still and enjoy these days of unlimited hugs and cuddling from my two little boys and having Phillip by my side.

But then, I've heard many older folks say they'd never go back and redo their younger years, and I get that. When I think back to my teenage years, the dating phase, the college years, and our early years of marriage, I think that I wouldn't want to do them over either. Of course, they were filled with some amazing memories, but they also included an abundance of struggles and lessons learned the hard way.

So I guess it's not about your age, it's about enjoying the moment you're in. I don't want to focus on my past or keep waiting for the future when life will magically get easier. I have to remind myself to slow down and make the most of today. Who knows what 29 will hold? Only God, and as the Scripture says, what I commit to him, he will keep in perfect peace.

Only 8 more minutes until it's official...good-bye 28. Hello, 29!

Here's a few pics of my little rascals from the last couple of weeks. We've been busy, busy, busy, as you can see!