If it is true that April showers bring May flowers, then we are going to have the most flowery May ever! Seriously, I don't remember ever experiencing so many rainy days in my life. It's been to the point that when the sun pops out and the rain stops for just a few minutes, Bryson hollers, "The sun's out, Mom!" and I get a little excited myself.
We've just been trying to truck along through these rainy days and make the most of them. It certainly has been eventful. Avery has continued to get red cells and platelets, since he's not making many on his own. We're meeting with the transplant doc from Cincy on May 11, and we're hoping to get some sort of plan for his treatment. The response to people wanting to register for the Bone Marrow Registry has been huge, and we are so thankful for that!
Bryson, my usually very healthy, active child, has had quite a rough time lately. This is the first morning in the last 13 days that he has woken up without a fever, thank God! It started as a cough and low grade fever that would come and go, and of course, I didn't get too stressed. I just tried to keep him away from Avery by letting him sleep in our room for a few nights. But, after about 5 days of fever, I took him to our pediatrician. She wasn't terribly concerned either since his ears, throat, and everything else looked good. She said it must be viral and would pass. A few days later with even higher fevers and more coughing, and we headed back for a chest xray, which showed many spots in his lungs. She said it was either Pertussis (whooping cough) or walking pneumonia. He's been on antibiotics for three days now, and I think he's finally on the mend!
Phillip's pappaw passed away Sunday evening, and we had his funeral yesterday. He has always been such a spunky guy, even at 83, that it seems odd that he went so quickly. He will be missed dearly!
So that's the bad stuff that has been going on lately. But, as usual, it hasn't been all bad. Actually, despite the physical rain, we have received some "showers of blessings" as well. One blessing came in the strange form of diapers. I know that sounds weird, but a person who I wouldn't have considered a friend, more of an acquaintance, blessed us by buying us four large boxes of diapers. I'm not talking about the little boxes you get at the store; these are the boxes with multiple packs inside. Two were Avery's size, and two were smaller for our baby. She said she wanted to do something nice for us because we have done some counseling with a couple of her family members recently. We truly appreciated it! It may sound strange for me to list this as a blessing, but it certainly was a huge blessing to us!
Another fantastic blessing is that we got our largest tax refund we've ever gotten before. We kind of procrastinated on having our taxes done because we were pretty sure we would have to pay or maybe break even. Boy, were we surprised!
Phillip is now on day shift on his weekends that he works, which is just one more step closer to getting on full day shift. He has been told that sometime early May he may be saying good-bye to second shift, and I know neither of us will miss it!
Something else I am so thankful for this month is that Avery was invited to join a research study at Johns Hopkins hospital. Joining only meant that we had to send two tubes of blood out there, but in exchange, they're doing some of the tests for free that we have been waiting on our insurance to approve for more than a month. We're hoping to have results back in a couple of weeks, and the outcome should give us some really helpful information about the cause of Avery's bone marrow failure and how best to modify his transplant medication regimen.
Oh, and I don't want to forget to mention that my sister, Rebecca, got to make a trip into town. I haven't seen her since Thanksgiving! We have wanted to go to Alabama ourselves for a visit, but we just can't make that big of trip right now with Avery's health. It was so nice to see her, catch up a little bit, and of course, compare bellies. I think I'm about to win that contest! Oh well, at number three, I think I'm entitled to be a little fatter. :)
You know, bad things are always happening. There's always loss, sickness, frustrations, stress, and lots of negative things to focus on. But amidst these painful times and this dismal weather, there are also many blessings I don't want to fail to overlook!
I praise God for his blessings and for his strength to take us through the rough times in our lives.
Hoping for an end to our monsoon season...
Bethany
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
*Snapshots*
Here are a few snapshots of the last couple of weeks at the Hoskins' house. No, they're not edited or posed. But sometimes I like to just capture the moments rather than take "pretty" pictures.
The boys are finally able to enjoy the warm weather out on their swing set! Bryson has recently learned to swing himself a little, although he still prefers to be pushed. Avery starts to giggle as soon as the breeze hits his face. It's so cute!
This is how I found Avery sleeping. I don't know how he does this without hurting his back.
The boys cuddling in their pajamas. Avery is more interested in my phone than anything else.
All dressed for church. I thought I should throw in one picture of them actually dressed, since I take a lot of pictures of them half dressed or in their pj's.
Avery looking out the window. He loves to watch what is going on outside.
The boys are finally able to enjoy the warm weather out on their swing set! Bryson has recently learned to swing himself a little, although he still prefers to be pushed. Avery starts to giggle as soon as the breeze hits his face. It's so cute!
This is how I found Avery sleeping. I don't know how he does this without hurting his back.
The boys cuddling in their pajamas. Avery is more interested in my phone than anything else.
All dressed for church. I thought I should throw in one picture of them actually dressed, since I take a lot of pictures of them half dressed or in their pj's.
Avery looking out the window. He loves to watch what is going on outside.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Happy Birthday, Avery!!
This month we have two birthdays in the Hoskins' house! My baby boy, Avery, turned 3 this week. I can hardly believe it. In some ways it seems like he has been part of our lives forever; but in other ways, it seems like just yesterday I had a little 2-pound baby that changed my life in more ways than I could ever imagine.
This week, we had Avery's first IEP meeting in preparation for his start into public school this fall. As I listened to each person there summarize their evaluations and observations of Avery, I was struck with how often I focus on what he CAN'T do, when in fact, there are a lot of things he CAN do!
For example, here's a few things that Avery is doing at three. He can sit unsupported and go from lying to sitting on his own. This is something he just learned this year! He can clap his hands, he can wave when prompted with a little bit of thinking on his part, he makes great eye contact when spoken to, and he is very social. In fact, in all of his developmental tests, social-emotional is one area that he scores the highest in...not too far away from the normal range. (He must have get this from his daddy :)) Avery switches hands, examines toys, attempts to "throw" a ball, enjoys little games like peek-a-boo, and even anticipates the next move in some games. He is beginning to "help" get himself dressed by moving his feet toward me when I'm dressing him or lifting a arm when he sees his coat or shirt. He absolutely LOVES bath time, and would sit and play in the bath tub for hours if I had time to sit and watch him that long. Avery recognizes me over strangers, but he has no separation anxiety and goes to anyone easily, which is pretty amazing considering all he's been through. He's becoming increasingly mobile in his own way. He lays down, rolls over, stretches, and then sits up to get to what he wants. He has been pulling his legs up under him in the start of a crawling position. He is quite the mess maker as he loves to empty my diaper bag or pull everything off of a shelf within reach.
One thing that really surprised me that the therapists and psychologist said to me when they first met Avery was how they had heard about Avery and all of his medical conditions and special needs and were expecting a frail little baby with very little personality or interaction with the world. They were so surprised to see such a big, smily, boy who was eager to interact with them and play their games for their evaluations.
So this week on Avery's birthday, I could make a list of all the things he can not do and all of the milestones that he should've met long ago. But, I'd rather not. It makes me too sad as a mommy to think about what he should be doing right now, and I don't want to be sad. I want to be thankful for my special little boy.
One last note, we learned Wednesday, the day before his birthday, that none of us match him for a bone marrow transplant. We're going to save Emerson's cord blood in July and test it, but the doctor from Cincinnati is going to go ahead and begin accessing the National Bone Marrow Registry. Please pray that we will be able to find a match for his transplant. Of all the things that I worry about with Avery, his health issues scare me more than anything. I would love to see him get a successful transplant and close the door to that scary part of his life.
This week, we had Avery's first IEP meeting in preparation for his start into public school this fall. As I listened to each person there summarize their evaluations and observations of Avery, I was struck with how often I focus on what he CAN'T do, when in fact, there are a lot of things he CAN do!
For example, here's a few things that Avery is doing at three. He can sit unsupported and go from lying to sitting on his own. This is something he just learned this year! He can clap his hands, he can wave when prompted with a little bit of thinking on his part, he makes great eye contact when spoken to, and he is very social. In fact, in all of his developmental tests, social-emotional is one area that he scores the highest in...not too far away from the normal range. (He must have get this from his daddy :)) Avery switches hands, examines toys, attempts to "throw" a ball, enjoys little games like peek-a-boo, and even anticipates the next move in some games. He is beginning to "help" get himself dressed by moving his feet toward me when I'm dressing him or lifting a arm when he sees his coat or shirt. He absolutely LOVES bath time, and would sit and play in the bath tub for hours if I had time to sit and watch him that long. Avery recognizes me over strangers, but he has no separation anxiety and goes to anyone easily, which is pretty amazing considering all he's been through. He's becoming increasingly mobile in his own way. He lays down, rolls over, stretches, and then sits up to get to what he wants. He has been pulling his legs up under him in the start of a crawling position. He is quite the mess maker as he loves to empty my diaper bag or pull everything off of a shelf within reach.
One thing that really surprised me that the therapists and psychologist said to me when they first met Avery was how they had heard about Avery and all of his medical conditions and special needs and were expecting a frail little baby with very little personality or interaction with the world. They were so surprised to see such a big, smily, boy who was eager to interact with them and play their games for their evaluations.
So this week on Avery's birthday, I could make a list of all the things he can not do and all of the milestones that he should've met long ago. But, I'd rather not. It makes me too sad as a mommy to think about what he should be doing right now, and I don't want to be sad. I want to be thankful for my special little boy.
One last note, we learned Wednesday, the day before his birthday, that none of us match him for a bone marrow transplant. We're going to save Emerson's cord blood in July and test it, but the doctor from Cincinnati is going to go ahead and begin accessing the National Bone Marrow Registry. Please pray that we will be able to find a match for his transplant. Of all the things that I worry about with Avery, his health issues scare me more than anything. I would love to see him get a successful transplant and close the door to that scary part of his life.
Friday, April 8, 2011
A Few Words on My 30th Birthday
I never thought I'd see the day when I turned 30. That may sound strange, but seriously, I never imagined life outside of my 20's. Everyone else can age, but me, I'm supposed to be ageless! But when I opened my eyes this morning, the first thought that popped in my mind was, "Yikes! I'm 30 now!" Actually, most days I feel every day of my age, and sometimes I feel more like a 70-year-old.
So what's going on in my world at 30?? I know that someday I'll reminisce about "back when I was 30," so I thought I might just take a few moments to journal about what I'm up to these days.
Well, I guess first and foremost, I'm a mom to two little boys that keep me on my toes. I spend most of my time and energy taking care of them, playing with them, and cleaning up their messes. I spend a lot of my time worrying about whether or not I'm being a good enough mommy or if I'm instilling in them all of the important things that I want to pass on to my children. And last but not least, I spend most of my money buying clothes, toys, and anything else they might need or want. I love being Bryson and Avery's mommy, and despite feeling a little frazzled...well, a lot frazzled sometimes, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Also, I'm expecting a third little bundle of joy in July. This time, we're having a girl, so I'm slowly awakening to the world of all things pink. Some folks might prefer more gender neutral clothing and decor, but I figure I'm finally getting a girl, so I might as well enjoy it!! Especially since according to my husband, the Hoskins family is going to be complete after this baby. One would think that with me being a girl myself and having two sisters this would come easy for me, but honestly, switching gears has been kind of tough. I've always looked longingly at the adorable girls clothing hanging on the racks across the aisle from the boys' department where I hang out. But now that I actually have a reason to shop on that side, I'm having a hard time not getting overwhelmed or wondering what I'll really need. It's kind of like starting all over. I am so excited about meeting our little Emerson Rose.
I feel like over the last few years, I have grown in my Christian walk. Growing older and life in general has led me to depend upon the Lord for strength each day. My greatest desires are to continue to grow and to have the faith that I need to get prayers answered. I want to be an example for my family that they may see Jesus and grow to love him. I hope that this 30th year of my life only brings me closer to God.
I do have a lot of worries and anxieties at this point in my life. I worry about the wrinkles and bags around my eyes, and I find myself investing more money in creams that promise amazing results. I won't even discuss my weight, since it's pretty horrendous how large I am right now. Hopefully, I can work on that after July. I worry about not spending enough time with my husband or being the wife that I should be. I have this mental image of what I should be able to accomplish, how my house should look, and how my cooking should taste, but unfortunately, I fall SO short of these fantastic images. And yes, I already mentioned it, I worry about my kids. I worry about if I'm disciplining them correctly, spending enough quality time with them, teaching them manners, feeding them balanced meals, and making the most of every minute I have with them while they're small. Yes, I know, it sounds like I hold unrealistic expectations for myself or suffer from some obsessive compulsive disorder. Even though I know that sometimes we have to be satisfied with good enough, I can't keep myself from worrying!
One of my biggest concerns at this point in my life is Avery's medical conditions. I can't help but worry about what the future holds for him and us. I just can't imagine life without him, and I'm absolutely not even considering that. I feel so badly that he has to endure so much, and our constant attention to Avery's special needs does add some stress to our family. I try really hard to balance time with Bryson. Yes, Avery's health is a priority, but Phillip and I try to take turns spending the night with Bryson during hospitalizations or taking time away from appointments to have some quality time with him. Right now Avery's condition is more serious than ever and we're waiting on some test results and praying for direction in his treatment. I'm praying that this 30th year brings healing for Avery in any way we can get it.
My personal time is pretty much non-existent, and teaching has taken a back burner to raising my family. I haven't taught at all the last two terms at Sinclair. We are so blessed that Phillip has a job, and I'm able to be a full-time mom.
That's pretty much my life in a nut shell at 30. I'm sure this post will not make anyone envious, but I have to say that I am so happy and blessed (and of course, a little stressed).
So what's going on in my world at 30?? I know that someday I'll reminisce about "back when I was 30," so I thought I might just take a few moments to journal about what I'm up to these days.
Well, I guess first and foremost, I'm a mom to two little boys that keep me on my toes. I spend most of my time and energy taking care of them, playing with them, and cleaning up their messes. I spend a lot of my time worrying about whether or not I'm being a good enough mommy or if I'm instilling in them all of the important things that I want to pass on to my children. And last but not least, I spend most of my money buying clothes, toys, and anything else they might need or want. I love being Bryson and Avery's mommy, and despite feeling a little frazzled...well, a lot frazzled sometimes, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Also, I'm expecting a third little bundle of joy in July. This time, we're having a girl, so I'm slowly awakening to the world of all things pink. Some folks might prefer more gender neutral clothing and decor, but I figure I'm finally getting a girl, so I might as well enjoy it!! Especially since according to my husband, the Hoskins family is going to be complete after this baby. One would think that with me being a girl myself and having two sisters this would come easy for me, but honestly, switching gears has been kind of tough. I've always looked longingly at the adorable girls clothing hanging on the racks across the aisle from the boys' department where I hang out. But now that I actually have a reason to shop on that side, I'm having a hard time not getting overwhelmed or wondering what I'll really need. It's kind of like starting all over. I am so excited about meeting our little Emerson Rose.
I feel like over the last few years, I have grown in my Christian walk. Growing older and life in general has led me to depend upon the Lord for strength each day. My greatest desires are to continue to grow and to have the faith that I need to get prayers answered. I want to be an example for my family that they may see Jesus and grow to love him. I hope that this 30th year of my life only brings me closer to God.
I do have a lot of worries and anxieties at this point in my life. I worry about the wrinkles and bags around my eyes, and I find myself investing more money in creams that promise amazing results. I won't even discuss my weight, since it's pretty horrendous how large I am right now. Hopefully, I can work on that after July. I worry about not spending enough time with my husband or being the wife that I should be. I have this mental image of what I should be able to accomplish, how my house should look, and how my cooking should taste, but unfortunately, I fall SO short of these fantastic images. And yes, I already mentioned it, I worry about my kids. I worry about if I'm disciplining them correctly, spending enough quality time with them, teaching them manners, feeding them balanced meals, and making the most of every minute I have with them while they're small. Yes, I know, it sounds like I hold unrealistic expectations for myself or suffer from some obsessive compulsive disorder. Even though I know that sometimes we have to be satisfied with good enough, I can't keep myself from worrying!
One of my biggest concerns at this point in my life is Avery's medical conditions. I can't help but worry about what the future holds for him and us. I just can't imagine life without him, and I'm absolutely not even considering that. I feel so badly that he has to endure so much, and our constant attention to Avery's special needs does add some stress to our family. I try really hard to balance time with Bryson. Yes, Avery's health is a priority, but Phillip and I try to take turns spending the night with Bryson during hospitalizations or taking time away from appointments to have some quality time with him. Right now Avery's condition is more serious than ever and we're waiting on some test results and praying for direction in his treatment. I'm praying that this 30th year brings healing for Avery in any way we can get it.
My personal time is pretty much non-existent, and teaching has taken a back burner to raising my family. I haven't taught at all the last two terms at Sinclair. We are so blessed that Phillip has a job, and I'm able to be a full-time mom.
That's pretty much my life in a nut shell at 30. I'm sure this post will not make anyone envious, but I have to say that I am so happy and blessed (and of course, a little stressed).
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