This month we have two birthdays in the Hoskins' house! My baby boy, Avery, turned 3 this week. I can hardly believe it. In some ways it seems like he has been part of our lives forever; but in other ways, it seems like just yesterday I had a little 2-pound baby that changed my life in more ways than I could ever imagine.
This week, we had Avery's first IEP meeting in preparation for his start into public school this fall. As I listened to each person there summarize their evaluations and observations of Avery, I was struck with how often I focus on what he CAN'T do, when in fact, there are a lot of things he CAN do!
For example, here's a few things that Avery is doing at three. He can sit unsupported and go from lying to sitting on his own. This is something he just learned this year! He can clap his hands, he can wave when prompted with a little bit of thinking on his part, he makes great eye contact when spoken to, and he is very social. In fact, in all of his developmental tests, social-emotional is one area that he scores the highest in...not too far away from the normal range. (He must have get this from his daddy :)) Avery switches hands, examines toys, attempts to "throw" a ball, enjoys little games like peek-a-boo, and even anticipates the next move in some games. He is beginning to "help" get himself dressed by moving his feet toward me when I'm dressing him or lifting a arm when he sees his coat or shirt. He absolutely LOVES bath time, and would sit and play in the bath tub for hours if I had time to sit and watch him that long. Avery recognizes me over strangers, but he has no separation anxiety and goes to anyone easily, which is pretty amazing considering all he's been through. He's becoming increasingly mobile in his own way. He lays down, rolls over, stretches, and then sits up to get to what he wants. He has been pulling his legs up under him in the start of a crawling position. He is quite the mess maker as he loves to empty my diaper bag or pull everything off of a shelf within reach.
One thing that really surprised me that the therapists and psychologist said to me when they first met Avery was how they had heard about Avery and all of his medical conditions and special needs and were expecting a frail little baby with very little personality or interaction with the world. They were so surprised to see such a big, smily, boy who was eager to interact with them and play their games for their evaluations.
So this week on Avery's birthday, I could make a list of all the things he can not do and all of the milestones that he should've met long ago. But, I'd rather not. It makes me too sad as a mommy to think about what he should be doing right now, and I don't want to be sad. I want to be thankful for my special little boy.
One last note, we learned Wednesday, the day before his birthday, that none of us match him for a bone marrow transplant. We're going to save Emerson's cord blood in July and test it, but the doctor from Cincinnati is going to go ahead and begin accessing the National Bone Marrow Registry. Please pray that we will be able to find a match for his transplant. Of all the things that I worry about with Avery, his health issues scare me more than anything. I would love to see him get a successful transplant and close the door to that scary part of his life.
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