The Heart of a Child

Tonight, I just want to quickly share a conversation that Bryson and I had. We were sitting on the couch here at the Ronald McDonald House, and he asked me if I would ever get mad at him. I told him that sometimes I get upset, but I try not to get mad, because that's when people lose control of themselves. Then in his funny way as only he can, he said, "And then you might go to jail or hell?" He has a limited understanding of either place, but I couldn't help but giggle a little.

Then he got really serious and said, "Well, Mommy, I got a yellow apple at school, but then Mrs. Ball changed it to green." Let me just explain something really quickly. In his Young 5's class, his teacher uses a green-yellow-red apple system for behavior where they all start on green, then if she has to warn them about something they go to yellow, and then red means you lose your recess or go to the principal's office. So far this year, Bryson has gotten green apples everyday, and he knows that is what we expect. Yes, this momma is a little surprised considering how active and strong willed her little angel can be! :) I email his teacher about once a month, and she has always confirmed that Bryson is well-behaved and respectful.

Apparently yesterday Bryson had his first lapse in behavior, and he said he touched something in art class that their paintings were laying on on his way to the bathroom. Because of that, Mrs. Ball told him his name was moving to yellow. As he was telling me this, his bottom lip started to pooch a little and quiver, and I felt my eyes tearing up a little. He said, "Mom, my heart sank deep!" I grabbed him and gave him a hug; I assured him that I wasn't mad and appreciated him telling me, but that I didn't want him to get anymore yellow apples. He said that his stomach hurt when his teacher told him that. Then he started crying.

I have to say, as much as I don't approve of him getting that yellow apple, I couldn't help but feel sorry for my little guy who has been carrying around this heavy weight on his heart for over 24 hours. What a guilty conscience he must have had! After we talked he seemed relieved and told me I was a good mom.

I'm reminded of the verse that says, “Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.” I know that is talking about having the trusting nature and faith as children do, but I believe it is also referring to the innocence and soft heart children possess and that conscience that is unseared. The kind like Bryson who can't stand to disappoint and needs to have his weight, even a seemingly small one, lifted away.

I hope that his heart is always so tender, but I know as he gets older, his sins will become greater and heavier. I also know that admitting wrong-doing will become more difficult. For now, I'm proud of him, and can't wait until he experiences that relief that comes with laying all of his sins down before Jesus. I'm praying that day comes when he's young!

May God bless you all, friends!
Bethany