Here I am at the hospital, past my bedtime, but I just have too much on my mind. Tonight while I was rocking Avery, my mind started wandering to my other two kids, and I just got overwhelmed with missing them. I think I've been doing pretty well with it all, but right now I'm struggling just a bit.
My mom told me yesterday that Emerson was rolling from side to side, and it looked like she might try to roll completely over. Then she put the phone down to her and let me talk to her. She was just cooing and making those adorable baby noises! As soon as I hung up, I started to cry thinking about what all I'm missing with her. Mom is going to try some baby food with her today. Oh how I wish I could be there!
And my biggest baby, Bryson, has had a few tears this week, and I wasn't there for him. I've not even talked to him on the phone because I'm afraid that would only make things worse for him. Today is pajama day at school for Bryson, and Sarah sent me a picture of him in his Thomas Train pjs, with a big, excited grin on his face to wear them to school. He might be 5, but he's still my baby, and he makes me laugh so much!
If you actually made it this far through my post, I'm sorry that I have nothing inspiring to say right now and that I'm complaining. I know I have a lot to be thankful for, but at the moment all I can think about is the distance between me and my other kids and how badly I just want to be with them. And I can't even let myself think too far into the future! We're only 2 weeks into this; there's a LONG road ahead of us.
Bethany
There is a song called...Your Cries Have Awoken The Master. Are you familiar with it? It is sung by Mike Bowling. Your definitely in the storm as the song says, but I know your cries do not go unheard!
ReplyDeleteI will keep on praying....
God bless,
Carrie
Praying for you Beth. I know this has to be hard but nothing is too big for God to handle. Love you guys!
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